1 00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:06,830 MAXWELL: So did you have a nice evening? 2 00:00:06,116 --> 00:00:10,156 Oh, I'll tell you, it was a beautiful wedding. 3 00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:12,250 Val and I cried our eyes out. 4 00:00:12,283 --> 00:00:15,283 She made some gorgeous bride, that Dr. Quinn. 5 00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:20,430 -Fran, where's ourTV Guide? -Right here. 6 00:00:20,466 --> 00:00:22,396 -Give me your best shot. -All righty. 7 00:00:22,433 --> 00:00:27,123 Channel 29, what follows The Ghost and Mrs. Muir? 8 00:00:27,150 --> 00:00:31,180 That would beFamily Affair, the episode where Mr. French 9 00:00:31,216 --> 00:00:33,296 accidentally drops Mrs. Beasley off the terrace, 10 00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:36,833 followed byThe Munsters with Marilyn Number Two 11 00:00:36,116 --> 00:00:37,466 followed byBewitched with Darrin Number One 12 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,000 but Mrs. Kravitz Number Two. 13 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,270 Bravo, Miss Fine. 14 00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:45,170 You seem to know more about '60s television 15 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,470 than most people at your age have forgotten. 16 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,400 Well, are you calling me old or just stupid? 17 00:00:51,483 --> 00:00:54,163 Well, you have a childlike quality 18 00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:56,300 that I find absolutely charming. 19 00:00:56,333 --> 00:01:00,253 -Childlike? -Just stupid. 20 00:01:00,283 --> 00:01:04,173 Well, what does he expect? All I do is talk to kids all day. 21 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:07,420 If someone would keep their head out of the paper in the morning, 22 00:01:07,450 --> 00:01:11,160 maybe I can have an adult conversation. 23 00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:14,350 Look,Dumb and Dumber at the dollar theatres. 24 00:01:16,316 --> 00:01:18,446 All right, Miss Fine. You want an adult conversation? 25 00:01:18,483 --> 00:01:20,353 -Yes, I do. -Let's talk. 26 00:01:20,383 --> 00:01:23,383 Um, affirmative action, for or against? 27 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:26,276 Against. Get rid of affirmative action. 28 00:01:26,316 --> 00:01:28,346 Those creams don't work. 29 00:01:28,383 --> 00:01:32,833 My mother has been smearing them on her thighs for years, 30 00:01:32,116 --> 00:01:34,476 and she still looks like she fell asleep in a wicker chair. 31 00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,303 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 32 00:01:41,333 --> 00:01:44,183 SINGER: ♪♪ She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens ♪♪ 33 00:01:44,216 --> 00:01:45,416 ♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out ♪♪ 34 00:01:45,450 --> 00:01:47,230 ♪♪ In one of those crushing scenes ♪♪ 35 00:01:47,266 --> 00:01:49,656 ♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪ 36 00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:52,660 ♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪ 37 00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:54,320 ♪♪ So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffields' door ♪♪ 38 00:01:54,350 --> 00:01:57,280 ♪♪ She was there to sell makeup, but the father saw more ♪♪ 39 00:01:57,316 --> 00:01:59,276 ♪♪ She had style! She had flair! She was there! ♪♪ 40 00:01:59,316 --> 00:02:03,126 ♪♪ That's how She became the nanny! ♪♪ 41 00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:06,326 ♪♪ Who would have guessed that the girl we've described ♪♪ 42 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,170 ♪♪ Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? ♪♪ 43 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:09,420 ♪♪ Now the father finds her beguiling ♪♪ 44 00:02:09,450 --> 00:02:11,120 ♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪ 45 00:02:11,150 --> 00:02:12,320 ♪♪ And the kids are actually smiling ♪♪ 46 00:02:12,350 --> 00:02:14,370 ♪♪ Such♪♪ 47 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:19,160 ♪♪ She's the lady in red when everybody else is wearing tan ♪♪ 48 00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:21,300 ♪♪ The flashy girl from Flushing ♪♪ 49 00:02:21,333 --> 00:02:23,423 ♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪ 50 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:29,270 Ooh, now they're unloading a couch. 51 00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:32,160 Nope. It's a sectional. 52 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:35,470 Nope. It's a love seat and a chaise. 53 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,150 -Nope, nope... -Oh, would you stop it? You're driving me crazy. 54 00:02:39,183 --> 00:02:40,373 [SHUSHING] 55 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,350 What if the person moving in is a single guy? 56 00:02:42,383 --> 00:02:43,473 If he hears you yelling at me, 57 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,170 he's gonna think we're married. 58 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,380 I'm sorry, Miss Fine. 59 00:02:47,416 --> 00:02:50,316 I'm just obsessing over something in the newspaper. 60 00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:52,280 Oh, you want to talk about it? 61 00:02:52,316 --> 00:02:54,296 No, I don't think it's anything you'll be interested in. 62 00:02:54,333 --> 00:02:55,333 Well, I could fake it. 63 00:02:55,366 --> 00:02:58,296 It wouldn't be the first time. 64 00:02:58,333 --> 00:03:01,173 All right. It's President Clinton's Renaissance Weekend, 65 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,220 and I was hoping I'd be invited. 66 00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:06,000 Oh, a Renaissance Weekend. 67 00:03:06,330 --> 00:03:07,450 Boy, Clinton goes to those things? 68 00:03:07,483 --> 00:03:11,003 'Cause I'm thinking tights and a pointy hat is not his best look. 69 00:03:12,333 --> 00:03:15,253 No, Miss Fine. Not the Renaissance Faire, 70 00:03:15,283 --> 00:03:17,303 the Renaissance Weekend. 71 00:03:17,333 --> 00:03:18,423 It's a yearly gathering 72 00:03:18,450 --> 00:03:20,230 of the best minds from every walk of life, 73 00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:22,466 and they only invite one member of the Broadway community, 74 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,170 and you know the one name that's ahead of mine. 75 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,470 Right. Who comes before Sheffield? 76 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,200 A, B, C, D, E, F, G... R! 77 00:03:29,233 --> 00:03:32,473 Phylicia Rashad is before Mr. Sheffield. 78 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,380 No, Miss Fine. Not Phylicia Rashad. 79 00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:37,226 Andrew Lloyd Webber. 80 00:03:37,266 --> 00:03:39,416 Webber? W is before S? 81 00:03:39,450 --> 00:03:41,480 Boy, and they call me stupid. 82 00:03:47,316 --> 00:03:50,996 Well, it's 12:30. Where's this brother of yours, C.C.? 83 00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:54,660 Brother? There's a brother coming? 84 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,000 Is he short, ugly, and married? 85 00:03:56,330 --> 00:03:57,150 No. Why? 86 00:03:57,183 --> 00:03:59,833 Well, then I gotta change. 87 00:04:00,830 --> 00:04:01,330 Nanny Fine, please, 88 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:05,176 he is a full-time professor at Northwestern University. 89 00:04:05,216 --> 00:04:08,656 Well, I don't mind moving down south. 90 00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:13,380 Oh, it will be so wonderful to see Noel again. 91 00:04:13,416 --> 00:04:15,346 We used to have so much fun. 92 00:04:15,383 --> 00:04:17,403 Every summer he'd take me to the horse show. 93 00:04:17,433 --> 00:04:20,163 Did you ever win? 94 00:04:25,383 --> 00:04:28,283 Maxwell, will you put that out? It's stinking up the house. 95 00:04:28,316 --> 00:04:30,296 Oh, C.C., I thought you liked cigars. 96 00:04:30,333 --> 00:04:32,503 I meant him. 97 00:04:34,116 --> 00:04:35,216 [DOORBELL RINGS] 98 00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:37,830 Oh, he's here. 99 00:04:37,116 --> 00:04:40,496 Oh, we were just like best friends. 100 00:04:40,830 --> 00:04:41,330 C.C. 101 00:04:41,366 --> 00:04:44,126 Noel. 102 00:04:48,483 --> 00:04:51,383 -Yes! -Well, you've been working out. 103 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:52,996 [SNIFFING] 104 00:04:53,330 --> 00:04:57,330 I smell Lady Stetson. Mummy gave you this. 105 00:04:57,660 --> 00:04:58,120 She gave you the Beamer. 106 00:04:58,150 --> 00:05:00,130 She gave you the Benz. 107 00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:02,176 C.C., Mummy died yesterday. 108 00:05:02,216 --> 00:05:05,326 -[GASPS] What'd you get? -Got you. 109 00:05:08,450 --> 00:05:10,150 I walked right into that. 110 00:05:10,183 --> 00:05:11,473 He used to keep me in stitches 111 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,170 with all that "Mummy died" stuff. 112 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,830 Oh, yes. Charming. 113 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:20,496 Oh, I didn't know we had company. 114 00:05:21,830 --> 00:05:23,180 Isn't anyone going to introduce us? 115 00:05:23,216 --> 00:05:25,276 All right. This is my charming, 116 00:05:25,316 --> 00:05:27,416 wealthy, educated brother, Noel. 117 00:05:27,450 --> 00:05:29,350 Noel, this is the help. 118 00:05:30,383 --> 00:05:32,373 I'm Dr. Noel Babcock. 119 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,230 Oh, a teacher and a doctor. 120 00:05:35,266 --> 00:05:38,196 Your mother must be kvelling. 121 00:05:39,216 --> 00:05:41,416 Miss Fine, don't you have something to do? 122 00:05:41,450 --> 00:05:43,100 Oh, he thinks 123 00:05:43,133 --> 00:05:46,353 that I can't handle an adult conversation. 124 00:05:46,383 --> 00:05:49,163 Want a Juicy Juice? 125 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:52,150 Maybe I'd learn something if I hung out with the professor. 126 00:05:52,183 --> 00:05:55,003 Worked for Mary Ann and Ginger. 127 00:05:57,300 --> 00:05:59,280 Is something going on with Max and the nanny? 128 00:05:59,316 --> 00:06:00,376 -No. -Huh? 129 00:06:00,416 --> 00:06:03,296 I mean, Maxwell is an educated man. 130 00:06:03,333 --> 00:06:06,333 -She went to Nick at Nite -[CHUCKLES] 131 00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:10,826 C.C., would you like to have some fun? 132 00:06:10,116 --> 00:06:13,326 Noel, I thought that was against the law. 133 00:06:13,366 --> 00:06:15,276 No. 134 00:06:15,316 --> 00:06:18,326 No, no, no. No, I meant a little wager. 135 00:06:18,366 --> 00:06:21,226 I say the nanny can be taught. 136 00:06:21,266 --> 00:06:24,326 Oh, please, don't make me take your money. 137 00:06:24,660 --> 00:06:26,220 This is a woman who thought Clarence Thomas 138 00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:28,160 was onThe Mod Squad. 139 00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:30,170 [BOTH LAUGHING] 140 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,480 Stop it. You're gonna make me go right here. 141 00:06:36,383 --> 00:06:39,133 (BOTH SIGHING) 142 00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:42,376 My Lamborghini against your prize thoroughbred. 143 00:06:42,416 --> 00:06:43,476 You choose the test. 144 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:48,350 Well, the only thing she knows is television. 145 00:06:48,383 --> 00:06:50,133 I'll make it easy for you. 146 00:06:50,166 --> 00:06:52,156 Get her onJeopardy. 147 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:55,330 All right. You're on. 148 00:06:55,366 --> 00:06:59,296 Oh, I can't wait to get behind the wheel of that car. 149 00:06:59,333 --> 00:07:02,323 And I can't wait to get behind that racehorse. 150 00:07:02,350 --> 00:07:04,120 You know what I mean. 151 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,130 [BOTH SIGHING] 152 00:07:15,416 --> 00:07:20,396 No, Ma, Noel is not that kind of doctor. 153 00:07:20,433 --> 00:07:24,123 'Cause he's a p... You can't write prescriptions, can you? 154 00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:26,233 No. 155 00:07:26,266 --> 00:07:28,196 That's what your insurance is for. 156 00:07:28,233 --> 00:07:30,473 Would you just call your H-O-M-O. Oy. 157 00:07:34,450 --> 00:07:36,130 Fran, you are enchanting. 158 00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:38,826 I don't know why you're insecure about your intelligence. 159 00:07:38,116 --> 00:07:41,156 -Oh, well. -I mean, if you're smart enough to get on Jeopardy. 160 00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:43,500 Who got onJeopardy? 161 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:44,430 Well, C.C. told me you'd been on a game show. 162 00:07:44,466 --> 00:07:48,376 -I naturally assumed... -Oh, please.Studs. 163 00:07:51,433 --> 00:07:55,223 -That's not really a mind game. -Hm. 164 00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:58,330 No. You gotta be a genius to be onJeopardy. 165 00:07:58,660 --> 00:07:59,430 I mean, my own cousin can't get on, 166 00:07:59,466 --> 00:08:03,496 and she finds Waldo every week. 167 00:08:04,330 --> 00:08:05,380 -I'll bet you could do it. -No. 168 00:08:05,416 --> 00:08:07,276 I couldn't possibly find Waldo every week, 169 00:08:07,316 --> 00:08:09,416 especially in those beach scenes 170 00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:12,470 when he's not wearing his shirt. 171 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,170 No, no. I meant getting on Jeopardy. 172 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,100 Would you like to try a few questions? 173 00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:19,423 Okay. 174 00:08:19,450 --> 00:08:22,470 Alex, I love your tie. 175 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,660 -What? -Alex Trebek, dumb-dumb. 176 00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:27,450 I heard that if you flirt with him, 177 00:08:27,483 --> 00:08:30,423 he locks out the other guys' buzzers. 178 00:08:32,166 --> 00:08:35,376 Oh, I'm gonna be good at this. 179 00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:39,346 All right. 180 00:08:39,383 --> 00:08:41,163 Famous monarchs. 181 00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:42,400 Oh, that's easy. 182 00:08:42,433 --> 00:08:46,303 The most famous Monarch was the '72 Mercury. 183 00:08:50,266 --> 00:08:52,196 More specifically, 184 00:08:52,233 --> 00:08:55,133 the one my ex-boyfriend, Danny, drove. 185 00:08:55,166 --> 00:08:58,996 And I'm the one that made it famous. 186 00:09:04,366 --> 00:09:08,326 Moving on. Astronomy. 187 00:09:08,660 --> 00:09:11,330 This is the oldest body orbiting the sun. 188 00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:13,830 What is William Shatner? 189 00:09:21,116 --> 00:09:22,296 Oh, my head. 190 00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:26,473 Oh, you know, the same thing happens to Mr. Sheffield. 191 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,430 Gee, it must be something in this room. 192 00:09:30,416 --> 00:09:32,826 -Fran. -Yes? 193 00:09:32,116 --> 00:09:33,996 Would you mind if we picked this up tomorrow? 194 00:09:34,330 --> 00:09:36,250 Oh, sure, sure. No problem. 195 00:09:36,283 --> 00:09:39,223 There's a set of steel-belted radials I've gotta stop payment on. 196 00:09:39,250 --> 00:09:40,400 Oh, boy. 197 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,250 Bye, Noel. Thank you. 198 00:09:45,283 --> 00:09:48,283 Did Noel leave? Oh, I'm sorry I missed him. 199 00:09:48,316 --> 00:09:49,446 Well, I miss him too. 200 00:09:49,483 --> 00:09:51,273 It's nice to have a man around 201 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:54,150 who notices my inane intelligence. 202 00:09:54,183 --> 00:09:56,253 Miss Fine, I noticed that the first time 203 00:09:56,283 --> 00:10:00,663 you threw a penny in the bidet and made a wish. 204 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,350 Oh, don't try and get on my good side, mister. 205 00:10:03,383 --> 00:10:08,333 For your information, Noel finds me stimulating. 206 00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:09,350 Believe me, it's not your mind 207 00:10:09,383 --> 00:10:13,173 that's aroused his interest. 208 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,330 You know, there is only one explanation 209 00:10:15,366 --> 00:10:17,166 for your negativity. 210 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,480 Oh, please, you think I'm jealous of Noel? 211 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:22,330 That makes two. 212 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,430 You just don't want me to reach my full potential. 213 00:10:27,466 --> 00:10:30,416 You want to keep me in that kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. 214 00:10:30,450 --> 00:10:32,270 You're the one who wanted to have children. 215 00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:34,330 You wanted to make it your full-time job. 216 00:10:34,366 --> 00:10:37,116 Oh, God, what am I saying? 217 00:10:38,183 --> 00:10:42,233 Meanwhile, Professor Noel Babcock, PhD, 218 00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:45,096 thinks that I'm smart enough to get onJeopardy. 219 00:10:45,133 --> 00:10:46,663 How do you like that? 220 00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:49,500 -Jeopardy? - Uh-huh! 221 00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:51,220 Remind me, what night does that tape? I should leave it open. 222 00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:54,330 As a matter of fact, I should block out the entire week. 223 00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:56,450 They ask the champion back, you know. 224 00:10:59,830 --> 00:11:00,200 That's right. 225 00:11:00,233 --> 00:11:02,283 And let's hope that it's not on the same night 226 00:11:02,316 --> 00:11:05,326 as Clinton's Renaissance Weekend. 227 00:11:05,366 --> 00:11:10,276 Oh, look, it doesn't matter because you're not invited. 228 00:11:10,316 --> 00:11:12,296 -Let me see that. -No. 229 00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:15,123 It could be a category onJeopardy. 230 00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:17,120 "Member of the Broadway community 231 00:11:17,150 --> 00:11:20,300 who is invited to the Renaissance Weekend." 232 00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:22,203 Andrew Lloyd Webber. 233 00:11:22,233 --> 00:11:25,203 [IMITATING BUZZER BUZZING] Sorry. That is incorrect. 234 00:11:25,233 --> 00:11:27,383 -Really? -The correct response would be 235 00:11:27,416 --> 00:11:29,996 "Who is Andrew Lloyd Webber?" 236 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,480 Oh, it's no good, Niles. I can't concentrate. 237 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,350 It's too bloody quiet. 238 00:11:41,383 --> 00:11:42,403 What on earth's missing? 239 00:11:42,433 --> 00:11:45,663 Well, perhaps this will help, sir. 240 00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:48,330 [MIMICKING FRAN] "Oh, Mr. Sheffield!" 241 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,000 That's it, Niles. Miss Fine's not here. 242 00:11:54,330 --> 00:11:55,450 Oh, just trying to fill your void, sir. 243 00:11:55,483 --> 00:11:57,473 It's obvious you miss her. 244 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,450 I most certainly do not. 245 00:12:00,483 --> 00:12:04,003 I'm just wondering where she is, what she's doing, 246 00:12:04,330 --> 00:12:06,380 which is entirely different from missing her. 247 00:12:08,660 --> 00:12:09,450 -What? -Oh, nothing, sir. 248 00:12:09,483 --> 00:12:13,163 I was just wondering how you ended up there 249 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:14,320 and I ended up here. 250 00:12:17,366 --> 00:12:19,476 Seems wrong somehow. 251 00:12:21,416 --> 00:12:23,266 She's probably with Noel. 252 00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:26,170 You know, that relationship doesn't make any sense. 253 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,180 I mean, what on earth does he want with her? 254 00:12:28,216 --> 00:12:30,116 Sir, is it beyond your comprehension 255 00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:31,300 that an intelligent man of the world 256 00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:34,663 could find Miss Fine intellectually stimulating? 257 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,400 No, really, Niles. 258 00:12:36,433 --> 00:12:39,383 Oh, all right. It's a bet. 259 00:12:39,416 --> 00:12:41,996 Miss Babcock's brother bet her 260 00:12:42,330 --> 00:12:44,160 that he could get Miss Fine onJeopardy. 261 00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:47,120 A bet. I knew he had an ulterior motive. 262 00:12:47,150 --> 00:12:49,420 Now, sir, you're not going to rub Miss Fine's nose in this, are you? 263 00:12:49,450 --> 00:12:52,100 -No, of course not. -[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES] 264 00:12:52,133 --> 00:12:54,163 Is that her? Ho, ho, ho! 265 00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:55,320 Oh, now, sir. 266 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,130 Oh, hello. Didn't hear you come in. 267 00:13:02,166 --> 00:13:04,216 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, guess what? 268 00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:09,330 I passed the test. I'm gonna be on Jeopardy. 269 00:13:10,116 --> 00:13:14,146 [SOBBING] 270 00:13:14,183 --> 00:13:17,183 Would you look at her? She's so happy for me. 271 00:13:17,216 --> 00:13:22,346 [SOBBING] I paid $200,000 for that stallion. 272 00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:26,660 I hope he paid for the room. 273 00:13:28,450 --> 00:13:30,350 Fran, I am so proud of you. 274 00:13:30,383 --> 00:13:33,403 Your thirsty mind soaked up all that knowledge like a little sponge. 275 00:13:33,433 --> 00:13:36,233 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to see a man about a horse. 276 00:13:36,266 --> 00:13:40,096 [LAUGHING] 277 00:13:40,133 --> 00:13:42,223 [SIGHING] 278 00:13:44,233 --> 00:13:45,403 You passed the test? 279 00:13:45,433 --> 00:13:47,123 Yes. 280 00:13:47,150 --> 00:13:50,220 You see, that is the difference between you and Noel. 281 00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:53,170 He thinks I'm a sponge. 282 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,330 -Are you through, Miss Fine, because... -No. 283 00:13:55,366 --> 00:13:58,116 You know, you're so smart and powerful, 284 00:13:58,150 --> 00:14:00,450 everybody always listens to everything you have to say. 285 00:14:00,483 --> 00:14:04,153 -Well, Miss Fine... -Wait. I'm talking. 286 00:14:04,183 --> 00:14:05,233 We both know 287 00:14:05,266 --> 00:14:07,466 that I'm not as smart or cultured as you are. 288 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,380 I mean, remember when I first moved here 289 00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:14,266 and you asked me where was the cabernet, and what did I say? 290 00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:16,270 Next to Cabin B. 291 00:14:19,450 --> 00:14:22,220 Although I never did take Spanish. 292 00:14:24,266 --> 00:14:27,226 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, you have no idea 293 00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:29,396 what gaining the respect from a man like Noel 294 00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:31,323 means to a girl like me. 295 00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:34,180 Now, what was it you wanted to say? 296 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:37,350 Good luck on Jeopardy, Miss Fine. 297 00:14:37,383 --> 00:14:40,183 Oh, thank you, Mr. Sheffield. 298 00:14:40,216 --> 00:14:41,346 Now I gotta go call my mother 299 00:14:41,383 --> 00:14:43,333 'cause nobody in my family's been on a game show 300 00:14:43,366 --> 00:14:46,216 since my cousin, Ira, wasQueen for a Day. 301 00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:48,330 [♪♪♪] 302 00:14:51,383 --> 00:14:54,123 Okay. Questions, kids. Drill me. 303 00:14:54,150 --> 00:14:56,370 Okay, Fran. The category is Potpourri. 304 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,380 Things that smell good. Things you put in a dish. Things that... 305 00:14:58,416 --> 00:15:01,366 -No, Fran, Fran, that's the pyramid. -What is Egypt? 306 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,170 Fran, you're running out of time. 307 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,500 I'll solve the puzzle! 308 00:15:05,483 --> 00:15:07,503 Miss Fine... 309 00:15:07,830 --> 00:15:09,500 What is a nanny? Things that are single. 310 00:15:09,830 --> 00:15:12,450 Calm down. Calm down. 311 00:15:12,483 --> 00:15:14,333 There are plenty of other contestants. 312 00:15:14,366 --> 00:15:16,466 They're all backups, and you don't have to go on. 313 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,830 Are you kidding me? 314 00:15:18,116 --> 00:15:20,246 I already cut the tags out of this dress. 315 00:15:20,283 --> 00:15:22,303 I'm definitely going on. 316 00:15:22,333 --> 00:15:24,133 -Five minutes. -Oh, oh, oh. 317 00:15:24,166 --> 00:15:25,996 -Break a leg, Miss Fine. -Fran, you'll do great. 318 00:15:26,330 --> 00:15:27,350 Fran, you look so beautiful. 319 00:15:27,383 --> 00:15:29,283 Oh, thanks, sweetie. 320 00:15:29,316 --> 00:15:32,346 But, you know, beauty is not what's important here. 321 00:15:32,383 --> 00:15:35,333 It's brains that count. 322 00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:37,450 Oh, hey, you. I want that same filter 323 00:15:37,483 --> 00:15:41,163 that they used on Liz for the White Diamonds commercial. 324 00:15:44,316 --> 00:15:46,316 Before we continue, let's recap the scores. 325 00:15:46,350 --> 00:15:49,180 We have Henrietta at $4,600. 326 00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:51,266 Stewart next at $4,700, 327 00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:57,660 and Fran close behind at minus $1,300. 328 00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:59,420 But, Fran, please, don't get discouraged. 329 00:15:59,450 --> 00:16:01,150 Oh, I'm fine, Alex. 330 00:16:01,183 --> 00:16:03,163 I'm just getting my taste buds ready 331 00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:07,230 for my year's supply of Chico-San Rice Cakes. 332 00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:10,166 Good for you. Stewart, you gave me the last correct response, 333 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,450 so you have control of the board. 334 00:16:11,483 --> 00:16:16,453 Thank you, Alex. By the way, nice tie. 335 00:16:16,483 --> 00:16:20,283 Oh, please. (KISSING) 336 00:16:20,316 --> 00:16:22,216 I'll take Inventors for $400, please. 337 00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:26,830 ALEX: Answer: "The name Thomas was made famous in 1880 338 00:16:26,116 --> 00:16:29,496 for this household invention." 339 00:16:29,830 --> 00:16:30,370 Stewart. 340 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,180 What is the light bulb? 341 00:16:32,216 --> 00:16:34,096 No, I'm sorry, that's incorrect. 342 00:16:34,133 --> 00:16:35,183 Henrietta. 343 00:16:35,216 --> 00:16:37,326 What is the phonograph? 344 00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:38,450 No. That too, is incorrect. 345 00:16:38,483 --> 00:16:41,833 Fran, would you like to try? 346 00:16:41,116 --> 00:16:42,346 Huh? 347 00:16:42,383 --> 00:16:44,203 "The name Thomas was made famous 348 00:16:44,233 --> 00:16:47,303 in 1880 for this household invention." 349 00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:51,203 What is the fork-split English muffin? 350 00:16:52,416 --> 00:16:54,476 That's absolutely right. 351 00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:59,003 Come on, people. 352 00:16:59,330 --> 00:17:03,130 In 1875, Mr. Thomas left England 353 00:17:03,166 --> 00:17:07,266 and closed his shop up for good to come to our country. 354 00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:10,370 Believe it or not, you're now in control of the board. 355 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,100 [EXCLAIMING] 356 00:17:12,133 --> 00:17:17,103 I'll pick food facts for $200, Alex. 357 00:17:17,133 --> 00:17:19,333 The answer is a Daily Double. 358 00:17:19,366 --> 00:17:21,446 [BEEPING] 359 00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:26,130 I'll bet $1,000, Alex. 360 00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:27,316 Answer: 361 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,170 this East European soup..." 362 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,200 -Fran. -What is borscht? 363 00:17:34,233 --> 00:17:36,103 You're absolutely right. Congratulations. 364 00:17:36,133 --> 00:17:38,283 [BEEPING] 365 00:17:38,316 --> 00:17:42,146 ALEX: And that sound means time now for our Final Jeopardy. 366 00:17:42,183 --> 00:17:45,223 Here is the Final Jeopardy answer. 367 00:17:45,250 --> 00:17:48,450 "This city was incorporated into the Roman Empire 368 00:17:48,483 --> 00:17:52,283 in 30 B.C. after the suicide 369 00:17:52,316 --> 00:17:54,326 of Cleopatra." 370 00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:55,130 Good luck. 371 00:18:00,150 --> 00:18:04,660 Dropped my earring. Dropped my earring. Whoa, Nelly. 372 00:18:05,166 --> 00:18:06,476 Oh, found it. Found it. 373 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,130 -Found the earring. -What's going on? 374 00:18:09,166 --> 00:18:13,416 I found the earring. I found the earring. 375 00:18:27,330 --> 00:18:28,370 All right, contestants, time's up. 376 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:32,830 Henrietta, what did you write down as your question? 377 00:18:32,116 --> 00:18:34,096 "What is Macedonia?" 378 00:18:34,133 --> 00:18:35,223 I'm sorry. That's wrong. 379 00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:38,330 What was your wager? $4,200. 380 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:41,300 You risked it all, and that takes you all the way down to zero. 381 00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:44,283 Enjoy the home game, honey. 382 00:18:44,316 --> 00:18:47,196 Well, now let's go to Stewart. His response was... 383 00:18:48,233 --> 00:18:49,323 "What is Cairo?" 384 00:18:49,350 --> 00:18:53,170 And, unfortunately, he too is wrong. 385 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,270 [RAZZING] 386 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:59,500 Your wager, please, Stewart, was $4,199. 387 00:18:59,830 --> 00:19:02,370 That takes you down to $101. 388 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,830 Still like his tie, Stewie? 389 00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:07,320 Fran? 390 00:19:07,350 --> 00:19:11,000 Well, my mother and I were on our way to Israel on El Al 391 00:19:11,330 --> 00:19:13,400 and who was sitting next to us but Diana Kind, 392 00:19:13,433 --> 00:19:17,503 a.k.a. Barbra Streisand's mother, in coach - 393 00:19:17,830 --> 00:19:22,450 they got a lot of unresolved issues, those two - 394 00:19:22,483 --> 00:19:25,373 on her way to see the pyramids in Giza. 395 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,280 So your response is Giza. 396 00:19:27,316 --> 00:19:30,426 No, Mr. In-a-Hurry. 397 00:19:30,466 --> 00:19:35,326 But talking about Streisand and Egypt 398 00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:37,120 reminded me of Omar Sharif, 399 00:19:37,150 --> 00:19:39,220 who according to my Funny Girl 400 00:19:39,250 --> 00:19:44,330 was not the first actor cast in the role of Nicky Arnstein, but... 401 00:19:44,366 --> 00:19:46,326 ALEX: Miss Fine! 402 00:19:46,366 --> 00:19:47,996 "What is Alexandria?" 403 00:19:48,330 --> 00:19:49,150 That's right. 404 00:19:49,183 --> 00:19:51,173 You've doubled your score to $200. 405 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,320 Fran Fine is the new Jeopardy 406 00:19:53,350 --> 00:19:55,170 [EXCLAIMING] 407 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,250 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 408 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,130 Hello,Jeopardy. 409 00:20:16,166 --> 00:20:20,176 Yeah. I want to talk to you about my Rice-A-Ronis. 410 00:20:20,216 --> 00:20:22,476 Well, according to my calculations, 411 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,300 I got six Herb and Butter, 412 00:20:25,333 --> 00:20:27,153 six Broccoli Au Gratin, 413 00:20:27,183 --> 00:20:31,333 but only five White Cheddar and Herb. 414 00:20:32,350 --> 00:20:35,270 Now someone over there ain't so smart. 415 00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:38,420 Isn't that ironic? 416 00:20:40,233 --> 00:20:44,283 -Cheer up, Miss Fine. You won one game. -Yeah. 417 00:20:44,316 --> 00:20:47,096 And you don't have to be the returning champion. 418 00:20:47,133 --> 00:20:48,483 I like you just the way you are. 419 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,480 Oh, thanks, Mr. Sheffield. 420 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:55,200 But if you ever saw me just the way I am, you wouldn't recognize me. 421 00:20:57,660 --> 00:20:58,150 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 422 00:20:58,183 --> 00:20:59,323 Oh. 423 00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:01,450 Oh, look who's here. 424 00:21:01,483 --> 00:21:05,173 -Hi, Roger. Hi. -Hi. 425 00:21:06,183 --> 00:21:08,383 Mr. Sheffield, 426 00:21:08,416 --> 00:21:11,396 you remember Roger Clinton, the President's brother. 427 00:21:11,433 --> 00:21:14,473 -Of course. Nice to see you. -Hi. Good to see you again. 428 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,430 Well, it's amazing you found the time to drop by, 429 00:21:16,466 --> 00:21:20,156 what with your brother's job and all. 430 00:21:21,250 --> 00:21:25,200 Roger is the guy that's renting the townhouse next door. 431 00:21:25,233 --> 00:21:28,103 Just till November '96. 432 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,250 Then I'm buying it. 433 00:21:31,283 --> 00:21:33,303 Whoo! [CHUCKLES] 434 00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:35,223 Listen, I just stopped by 'cause my brother 435 00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:36,450 wanted me to give this to you in person. 436 00:21:36,483 --> 00:21:39,253 [GASPS] 437 00:21:39,283 --> 00:21:41,273 It's an invitation to the Renaissance Weekend. 438 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:46,160 Oh, now you see, you did get invited. 439 00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:48,430 It must have just been a big oversight. 440 00:21:48,466 --> 00:21:53,466 Oh, thanks so much, Roger. You are a doll. 441 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,420 Gee, I saw that gorgeous canopy bed 442 00:21:56,450 --> 00:21:58,480 that they were delivering to your townhouse. 443 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,330 It looks just like the one in the Lincoln Bedroom. 444 00:22:01,366 --> 00:22:03,656 Not after I paint it white. 445 00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:06,430 [EXCLAIMS] 446 00:22:06,466 --> 00:22:09,246 -He's a riot. -[CHUCKLES] 447 00:22:09,283 --> 00:22:11,483 Miss Fine, did, uh, did you have something to do with this? 448 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,100 Oh, please, Mr. Sheffield, 449 00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:18,453 I can't even get Brighton to put his dirty underwear in the hamper, 450 00:22:18,483 --> 00:22:23,503 you think I can influence the President of the United States of America? 451 00:22:24,183 --> 00:22:26,273 Meanwhile, I think you should pick up a corsage. 452 00:22:26,300 --> 00:22:29,160 You're taking out Janet Reno tonight. 453 00:22:29,350 --> 00:22:32,470 [♪♪♪] 454 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:45,450 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING]